I am not really fashionable. I am not sure that it is or ever has been a goal of mine. But I like to dress well, and feel good about what I am wearing.I grew up with a mother who was very cool about letting my sister and I dress ourselves. As long as we dressed appropriately for the occasion and company (meaning dressing more modest when we met elderly relatives) she let us pick out our own clothes from a pretty early age. When I moved to the US, I was a little lost. Fashion back then was very different than it was in India. Furthermore my body was changing and I was growing up. I really struggled with style. My mom just really wanted me to feel comfortable, and happy so she let me do what I wanted.
In high school I wanted to dress like the popular girls who were trying to be “sexy.” I bought tanks tops, and shorter shorts, than I was used to. I started wearing those but I never felt particularly comfortable, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise. Showing off your mid-rift became “in” when I was in high school. That my mom did not let me do nor did our high school really. I also had a really difficult time getting pants that fit correctly. I learned later that I never would. A belt is a necessity for me, most of the time.
In college I still wore tank tops, but now I found things that fit be a little better. Slowly my style evolved to be a little more stylish. But still like most college students, involved way too many sweatshirts and t-shirts. After college for my first job I had to buy business casual clothes on a tight budget, so again I really did not like many of the clothes I was wearing. I did not know what my style was and it showed. A few years passed, my clothes really did not make me happy. My personal clothes felt like I was still an undergrad, and my professional clothes were uncomfortable.
So about a year ago I started trying to find my style. I wrote down how I wanted to dress, and here is the list I came up with:
1) Comfortable and Myself
2) At work: Professional and at ease
3) Night Out: I wanted to be classy and sexy
4) Feminine and Age appropriate
Slowly over the last year I have been dressing in a way that I really like. It’s not perfect yet, I still am uncertain sometimes but I have started finding myself. My major problem was that I did not know how to dress very well for my body. So I started to look to the internet for help and came across some blogs that helped me find myself. Those blogs are the following:
1) Putting Me Together
2) Franish
3) Academic Chic (they don’t really blog anymore, but I find their website useful)
4) J’s Everyday Fashion
5) Kacie's Kloset
Really I came across, “Putting me Together” in a Google search and her lovely blog roll led me to the others. I like them all because they dress like everyday people, just more stylish.I have learned a lot from them in the process.
I think our society causes women to feel a lot anxiety about their bodies.Dressing in a way that flatters your body can be a really good way to suppress some of that anxiety. No matter what size you are, there are ways to dress that flatters you while being yourself. You have to find that style. It takes time but it’s possible. Don’t be discouraged if you buy some wrong things, it’s learning and it takes time .I think you need to be comfortable and yourself. If you are not- it’s going to show. Whatever“Yourself” is, can and should evolve over time. If you love jeans and the t-shirts may be the styling changes. If you love skirts may be the length and cut changes. Dressing everyday in a way you like makes you feel better because clothes are pretty much mandatory in society they become an extension of who you are.
Many people say you need to dress better because people judge you. While the argument is unfortunately true, I don’t think that should be your primary motivation. I think you need to dress in a way that makes you feel better and you like. Don’t try to change overnight. Take your time. Clothes are like most things- it’s never going to be perfect. If you want to change how things are it also takes time. I am in still on a journey but I am slowly coming into my own style that I like and enjoy! :)
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