OWNing a Home…

I recently watched the movies Sisters, in that there is a line where one of the characters states “a house is a building, home is a feeling.” When you buy your first house that is what you are trying to create; a “home” -that combined with too much HGTV well makes home ownership complicated.

Especially, for my generation! We typically had parents that made money on their houses, and then late in their life some lost money on their homes.  So as a result we are prone to unrealistic expectations from houses, or severely jaded. So when Mark and I went to buy a house, I did my research and decided to be as realistic as possible.

First things first, I think of a house that I plan to live in as an asset not an investment. What is the difference you might ask? An asset is something that can be owned that has value ideally with some positive economic return in the future. An investment is defined as the outlay of money for profit. At any given point I should be able to sell my house and cover my mortgage (ideally of course make money, but not with an expectation of that). Any updates done in my mind is done for us; the “value” it adds for us and making it a “home.” Another thing I made sure was to be realistic about what we could afford. M and I both have good credit, the bank told us we can afford a lot more than our house value, and they will do that. So be realistic about what you want to pay monthly and what that means for your lifestyle. Mark and I did not want to be “House Poor.” You don’t want to own a superb house and eat ramen daily. Finally, here is a motto from our home search that is super useful: “price, location, and size/layout” pick two! It is very unlikely that you get the size, price and location you want- you will need to compromise on something.

Once you have a house, and are happy with it your quest for a home begins. Making your house into a home is simple in some ways; make it comfortable for the people living there. And at the core that is all there is to it. But like I said earlier too much HGTV complicates this. Therefore, many homeowners have bigger dreams than pockets, this is us too! We want out home prettier, more modern etc. So here we are learning to DIY! One project at a time. Some small, some big and it has been an adventure.

What have we learned so far? Well we are typically not the best at DIYing, we always underestimate time. While it is a pain and we might not do A LOT of it, we do enjoy aspects of it, and there is a pride in it that is hard to explain.We are generally good at ideas; execution seems to be our problem. Sometimes it seems to man vs. house, and the house always wins. We will need a lot of help to make our home the way we want!

So then at the end of the day the question is whether home ownership is worth it? And the answer is yes, if you are realistic. You do build equity that you do not in a rental, you can make it a home in a way you often can’t a rental. That said I don’t home ownership if for everyone! And I do think we should stop insisting it is in America (I feel like there is a push for it that is not necessary and not accurate, may be it is just me). You can be as happy and financially stable renting. I was for years. 

So go ahead buy a home, if you want to and makes sense for you!

(I hope if you are reading this, you appreciate the pun in the title)

Blogging More (Again)

A month ago; I was reflecting on what I would like to do more this year. And, one month in I feel pretty good!

Mark and I are both healthier than we were a month ago.

Our house a little less chaotic and projects have decent progress made towards them.

We both have been reading like crazy. He is 10 books in, I am 7. 

One place I continue to stumble is this blog…

What I love about the blogs I read is they share things of my interest and create a community around it.  But I am not sure that is what my blog is now. And if that is the direction I want to go then I also open myself to more scrutiny from outsiders. Is that something I want to do? Or this just a blog for my thoughts and writing for myself?

I continue to be confused about this. But I am going to try to do more of it to figure it out. The goal going forward is one post a week? 

Thinking about a New Year...

We are a little more than half a month into the New Year, so I am reflecting on 2015 and New Year’s in general? 

2015….

Both Mark and I got new jobs towards the end of 2015 so that meant some lifestyle changes. What that looks like and how we manage it? Well we are still working on it, we are hoping to get a routine-ish figured out soon. 

We also want to have a little more productive lifestyles but we want to also devote some times to our hobbies. Much of 2015 was a rush, especially the summer, we neither were able to get tasks we wanted done nor did we take the time to enjoy our hobbies. We want to slow down in 2016. 

I became a little bit healthier in 2015. I decided I wanted to lose 30 lbs before I am thirty, and create a healthy lifestyle I could sustain. This has inspired Mark to figure out what his goals and what he wants, I hope he joins my efforts that will make life easier in the coming year. 

As I mentioned earlier we want to devote some more time to hobbies! The most important one being reading. In 2015 I did not really recreationally read as much as I wanted, and I am not sure why. May be time? I love reading and it makes me happy, so I am going to pick up the pace on reading again! Also I want to tackle some more organizing projects.

I also want to figure out is blogging a hobby I want to pursue? I think I meant to figure out if I wanted to continue blogging or not in 2015. I did not. I went a year without doing it because I felt like people who blog had more of a purpose in their words than I did?  But I did not figure out if I enjoy it or not, if this is something I want to do or not? The plan this year is to dedicate a little more time to the blog. I believe any hobby requires you spend time on it, and I have not done that with blogging. If I spend some time doing it, I will also figure out if I want to or not. 

As you can see I have taken sometime to think about changes I want to happen in 2016, although I don’t do traditional “resolutions.” I always use the New Year to celebrate life and reflect. New Year for me is about celebrating life; understanding it  and questioning it a little more. It is about reflecting, and sometimes changing yourself, relationships, and worldviews. And that’s what I do every new year! 

What does the New Year mean to you? What do you do with it? 

I love New Year. I am not even sure when it started. I assume back in India; our New Year celebrations were magical. We lived in what would be equivalent of condos in the US, and on the rooftop there would be a party. Starting late evening there would a show put on by the kids, dinner, games and evening ended at midnight with countdown, cake and fireworks. Then as I went to bed I would think about the good and bad of the year that had just passed, and what can be better this yea? My mom told me to  do it one year and I just continued…

I cannot say New Year has been as magical as I grew up. But nostalgia well it is powerful! So no matter if my New Year now involves a huge celebration or falling asleep before midnight, I start the New Year with a little reflection and a smile! 

My husband does not understand this love for New Year he says it is like any other day of the year. No one changes overnight into another person. He believes if you want to change something in your life you should not wait till the New Year. I understand what he says about not waiting till New Year to change things one needs to change (which is why I don’t do resolutions in the traditional sense?) but there is something refreshing about feeling like you have a chance at a new start! I embrace it wholeheartedly. Some people reflect and readjust on their birthday, but I prefer New Years. For me my birthday is about celebrating me, while New Year is more about reflecting on life. So Cheers to 2016! 

Gnocchi with Sage Brown Butter and Roasted Squash

So fall is the air here is Wisconsin. One of my favorite things about fall is all the squash and pumpkins around. As part of our CSA we received a delicate squash, and sage. As soon as I saw those two ingredients I was thinking Roasted Squash with Sage Brown Butter. When searching for Sage Brown Butter at some of my frequented food blogs I came upon this Pumpkin Gnocchi Recipe. I combined these two recipes to come up with this recipe. It was superb and definitely getting made multiple times this fall.

Ingredients:
1 small Delicate or Butternut squash
1 lb Gnocchi
1 handful Sage
1/4 cup butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and Pepper to taste
1/4 cup Parmesan Reggiano

Directions:
1) Pre-heat oven to 400F
2) Cube the Squash into chunks about the size of the Gnocchi you are using. This particular time I used mini Gnocchi.
3) On large rimmed baking sheet toss squash with oil, salt and pepper. Roast for about 25 mins or until tender *
4) Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the gnocchi in boiling water until it floats to the surface, about 2-3 minutes, remove and set aside to drain.
5) In a pan melt butter until it just starts to brown
6) Toss in sage till crisp- about a minute
7) Add Squash in and saute- about a minute
8) Add Gnocchi in- toss till coated in butter.
9) Remove off heat garnish with Parmesan Reggiano and serve

* You can roast squash ahead of time making this a really quick weekday meal. If you do make it ahead of time I would suggest heating it to at least room temperature before tossing it in the pan. 

Saying Goodbye to My Lucky Star

Today M and I, buried our Lucky's ashes.

Lucky was the most magnificent cat you would meet. She was agile, curious, and beautiful. She was scared of thunderstorms but when the sun was out she loved exploring. She did not like going outside unless she could see me or MS. Then again, she loved exploring the porch (that was as outdoorsy as she got). She would meow like crazy for wet food and when she had her mousy with her.

Over ten years ago now, after a couple of years of living in the US, we really missed having pets. We had grown up with lots of pets (You can read more about it at my sister's blog), so we decided to start with a cat. We adopted her from Pet's Mart/Jefferson County Humane Society. I named her "Lucky" because I had been listening to the Britney Spears song Lucky,and because she was a black cat and people stupidly and superstitiously thought them unlucky and it is hard to find families for them. I thought she would be "Lucky" and she was for me. I would often call her my "Lucky" star.

I still remember the first day we brought her home. My parents and sister had to work that day but I was to be home with the cat. Unfortunately, as soon as we got her home, she found her home below my sister's bed. No persuasions or food got her out. After trying every so often for 2 hours, I fell asleep on the bed. When I woke up, there she was crouched in the corner looking at me. I put my hands out gently so she could smell it if she wanted. It took her 10 minutes but she finally made it to my arms. I slowly petted her and she started purring. Since that day, her and me, we had a connection.

When I came home from college she would sit at the counter waiting for me to pet her. When I cried she would come sit beside me. When I watched TV she was on me. When my grandfather died she sat on my feet by his bed as as I said goodbye. When I moved out I took her with me, and she adjusted really well. She actually loved being the only pet. She accepted MS, and made him love cats too, especially her. She was part of our big days too, when we got married and came home, when we bought a house. She loved the new house.

And then suddenly she was gone, and I was in more pain than I could imagine. I have had to say goodbye to pets before but this is much harder than other times. Perhaps because it came out of nowhere, perhaps it was because she was my mine and not as much a family pet, or perhaps because it was ultimately me who had to make the decision. Most likely a combination of all of the above.

It will be a week tomorrow. I still cry randomly at home when I miss her. I know the pain will get better, and I also know I will never stop missing her. But today I finally said goodbye! In Hinduism (not that I am particularly religious) you have a period mourning. Then you say goodbye (usually on the 12th day),  and start celebrating their life- meaning you mourn but you remember them positively and smile. Tomorrow, I will start celebrating my Lucky's life (or at least try to)!

 

Tacos And Bollywood: An Immigrant Sharing

Sometimes when my day just sucks or I am really tired, all I want to do is eat tacos and listen to Bollywood music (Not Taco Bell. I am talking true Mexican style tacos).

Why Taco's? Well most days when I am upset I don't feel like cooking. Good authentic tacos are cheaper than Indian food in Madison. Most importantly though they have more of a "home cooked" feel.  While Indian food is my comfort food, restaurant Indian food in Madison feels well like "restaurant food."

In the small  family run Mexican joints I find the flavors that are familiar to my palette. It also gives me the feeling of going to the food stall around the corner back in Mumbai.

Strange right? But that's how it is.

As it turns out though it is not so strange- at least not to one of the Mexican girl who works at El Pablano.

While waiting for my tacos after a really tiring day, I was asking her what things behind a refrigerated case were. She was struggling to explain the taste of something- as she could not think of the English word. So she brought on out a container so I could smell it. The guy who took my order earlier- returned at this point, and stated it was cinnamon. I thanked him and her, and continue conversing with the girl.

I explained why I like Mexican food and how it appeals to my Indian palette. Upon learning that I am from India- she looks excited, and explains she loves Bollywood. She changes the music to some good old Mohabbatein. She explains that Bollywood movies and music are her and her sister's go to entertainment. She says she like it more than American TV, and asks me how to say some things in Hindi.

So here we are two immigrant girls- chatting- and finding comfort in other's culture. It is one of those surreal moments in life that I won't be forgetting any time soon.

A generation 1.5 Immigrant: A Fish Out of Water

Despite this blog being called
"Chai and Pie." I really have not talked about cross-cultural issues. I think it is due to the fact that it is difficult to talk about things when the topic makes you feel vulnerable. But at core of my existence is my mixed identity; I would not be authentic if I did not talk about it. What perhaps makes my identity more complicated is the age at which I came to the United States.

While my childhood was honestly Indian, I was very much an American Teenager in many ways.
As a result I do not really identify with Indians who were born and raised in the United States. Nor do I identify with my parents, or other first generation immigrant Indians. I do not know any Indians that are like me, a generation 1.5 immigrant (Not saying there aren't any- I just don't know any). Therefore, my closest Indian friends are in India. Most Indians I hangout with in the US are related to me. My friends in the US are mostly those to identify as American. I am very grateful for the friends and family I have both in India and the United States- Honestly, they are awesome! They have accepted me and mixed loyalties, and the confusions that comes with it. But not having many Indian friends in the US (first or second generation), or those who share my mixed loyalties- often makes me feel like the picture above. A fish out of water!!

Rather, I am that fish jumping out of a bowl with many into a bowl by myself. The bowl full of fish are representative of  the several different cultures I am part of.  But often wind up deviating from. I guess more accurately there would a graphic showing a fish jumping in and out of water.

Upon searching on the internet- I found I belong to a group called "Cross Culture Kids." More on being a Cross Cultural Kid some other time but knowing that I am part of a larger community of people with mixed identities- well there is comfort in it!! None the less I cannot help but want more Indian- American friends. It's something I plan to seek out more but not if they come at the expense of the great friendships that I have now. Not that I anticipate that happening.


* I found this image when I googled "fish out of water." I do not own the image. I do not intend any copyright infringement.