Eleanor Roosevelt once said," No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I think she was a brilliant women, and this is a quote I have myself use. However, I think like everything there are limitations to this thought. Today I am going to reflect about appearance, inferiority, and dignity. When I say "appearance" I am primarily thinking about weight, grooming, and body enhancements. But there are of course other very crucial things to your appearance like race, culture, etc. that are significantly more complicated. Not to say what I am discussing today is not complicated.
One thing I reflected upon in my coming into your own style post is the fact that women have a lot of pressure to look good.I also state that a person should change for themselves and not society. I truly do believe that, you should change your appearance because you want too. But the reality is quite complex, its not like a child looks at a their nose and says "its crooked", the child at some point has learned that.I have struggled with how I feel about appearance for a long time. Its one of those places where society has constructed notions on prettiness, and make people feel inferior all the time. But there are personal choices involved too.
I use to believe that plastic surgery unless for medical reasons is vain but then I thought about how unhappy someone must be with a body part to willingly change it sometimes via painful procedures. If they have the money, and it brings them happiness- what is wrong with it? How is it any different that spending money on other luxury items for feeling better. But isn't there something wrong? Especially when we as a society choose to promote some particular features. There is something inherently disturbing about east Asians wanting to fix their eyes to look more big. Hair Removal in women in another thing that is similar- why are women expected to shave, and remove their facial hair and judged if they don't. I remember the Sikh women who chose not to due to her religion, and the internet was HARSH. Although, many did come to her rescue and point out the gender hypocrisy and such. This hits especially close to heart because I myself have dark facial hair.Weight is even more tricky because health concerns associated with it. Of course there are many more things associated with appearance as such; make- up, dressing,etc. On many of these I don't have the right answer they are more grey that society makes it to be. There are people's emotions, meaning in daily life, and much more involved. Its not easy to answer.
So how then do we say what is right?
I say the answer is DIGNITY. Treating people no matter how they look with dignity. I am not prefect at this- I have my personal preferences on appearances. So I am trying everyday to not let it cloud my judgement and treatment of others. That said wanting people you care about to change for their benefit for example loosing or putting on weight is not wrong in my opinion. But one must do so in a manner that acknowledges that it is that person's body, and they have the right to choose. Acknowledging that their feelings are more important than your notions. I am not prefect at this by any means- but I am trying, and striving to do it right everyday. Now only if I could get more of the world on board with this.
P.S- I still think that is wrong to physically change children (eg. nose job) without a medical reason. I think that is a choice they should make when they are olde, and not because you have some notions of being pretty. But that too gets complicated. For example its common in my dad's culture to have kids' (boys and girls) ears pierced. That is something I was planning on doing when/if I choose to have kinds- but is it right?
Friday, September 27, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Eek...
So my promise to update my blog frequently more than failed. It really frustrates me because I do not normally make promises I cannot keep. But life happens and sometimes intentions are important. In the last month I have reconciled with many things. One of the those things is this blog-this is something I do want to. However, it cannot at this time be a bigger part of my life but may be in the future? I will continue to update it, just not as often as I would like.
The last month has been about getting our new apartment straightened out, many social obligations, and preparing for school, and last but not the least- starting of school. This semester is a test of my will, strength , patience and so much more. I am working full time, I am in graduate school full time ( Nine credits, for the first time. I took six the last two semesters since I started grad school, due to wedding stuff), and still have my home life. I want to do this and do it well, for myself and the people who have believed in me.
The last month has been about getting our new apartment straightened out, many social obligations, and preparing for school, and last but not the least- starting of school. This semester is a test of my will, strength , patience and so much more. I am working full time, I am in graduate school full time ( Nine credits, for the first time. I took six the last two semesters since I started grad school, due to wedding stuff), and still have my home life. I want to do this and do it well, for myself and the people who have believed in me.
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