Dating Blues

You get married or start living together, and something like this might follow:

A) Monday evening: you cook together, and watch TV. What use to be a planned date in the past become a necessity, and therefore becomes a rut.

B) You might be spending 3 to 5 nights a week together. So part of the point of dating is to spend alone time together and you are already doing that, right?

It is easy to get in a RUT. It is even easier to forget to "Plan" a date.

Dates are more than alone time together. It is time you spend together to get to know each other and understand each other. It is about making the other person feel special. In essence it is putting effort into a relationship.  That's why you can have friend, mother, siblings, etc " dates." But I digress...

The point is it is easy to put "dating" on the back burner especially in couples. M& I, have been guilty of this recently especially while I have been in graduate school. As I graduated this past weekend, we made a promise to spend more time together being more purposeful about "dating." We also want to try and think about our "dates" so we don't get into a Dinner and Movie rut.

So starting now I am going to attempt to chronicle our dates. Most of course will be in the lovely town of Madison but some outside.

When the going gets tough...

You Pause. You Avoid. You Dwell. You Stop Caring. You Get Angry.  But you pick up and move on!

Honestly speaking the last few months have been physically, and emotionally exhausting. I have been sick every other week, school has been tough to keep up, work has been draining, and my parents are having some difficulties too which also required my time. As I try to keep up- I have done all of the above; procrastinated and not done anything (pause), pretended like I had control (avoid), worried too much about things I could not control (dwell), I started letting myself go (stopped caring), gotten angry at the world (angry), and now I am ready to move on.

A few Thursdays ago- I did not pack lunch so I walked to get some lunch. As I walked  I focused on the good in my life. I am graduating with a master's degree, I am healthy, I have incredible friends and family, and so much more. I decided enough is enough.

I AM am going to get my act together.

I am not there yet. Since then I have slipped a few times, and needed to pick up again- but I know I can do it. Things might unravel again but I will then do it all over again, and not give up.

I think sometimes society, and we ourselves do not give enough credit to will power.
Originally I had a long ramble about the messages we are getting from society about will power etc, But I realized something- it was hard to convey, and I could not do get the words quite right. So all I want to say is without dismissing real problems like depression is that we as humans have amazing will power. Sometimes we forget that. Will power is not the ability to overcome problems right away- it is the ability to process it however one must, and to keep going. To fail and try again.

So when the going gets tough, remember you can get going too- and it's a process.