In the words of Shakespeare:
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
I love that quote of Shakespeare. I have remembered it since high school, I cannot say that for much else. Yet the world of Romeo and Juliet shows that a name does matter. Their names at the end of the day got them killed. But we call it a tragedy- because we think the feud, and them getting killed were both unnecessary. So then perhaps their names should not matter- for an individual would be that person with or without their name. Right? Honestly, I dont know.
How are you named?( Who came up with your Given Name) What is your last name? ( Does it mean anything?) The answer to all these questions differs greatly depending on where you live. Many of us, most of the time don't even think about how our first and last name came about.It is something we accept. We more than accept, we love and cherish it as a crucial part of our identity. But there is a time that people in some cultures start thinking about their name more, especially women- that is if you answer yes to the question below.
Do you live in a culture where there is a practice of changing names after marriage?
I happen to be born in a culture where women change their last name after marriage,(although note that this is not true for all Indians but rather most) and happen to live in one. I started thinking about it shortly after getting engaged. For multiple reasons I chose to keep my name, something that not many Indian women do. One day while talking about my name with M, he asked me " would you have changed your name if you were in India?" I thought about it and said, " Honestly, I am not sure not changing would have been a choice. I am glad it is" He smiled and said, " I am glad it is too." So my main two reasons for not changing my name is to celebrate that choice I had, and because when I moved here my name became a very important part of cultural identity. I was marrying outside my culture, and it was a way to hold on to a bit more of it. This was a very personal choice.
2013 in the United States, I was really surprised at the negative reactions I got from people (Very few from Indians)- honestly, sometimes it hurt. Someone actually went "oh do you not want to be associated with M?" Really then why would I marry him? Honestly, I dont mind being called Mrs.M either, as long as it is not something you are doing to be a prick. I have had family and friends call me that in good conscious and I am more than happy.
My good friend from college changed her last name to her husband's, a fellow classmate of mine changed his name to his wife's last name, my aunt hyphenated her surname, another friend kept her last name, and a couple I knew both combined their last names. All these are people I respect, and their name choices have nothing to do with it. I can also respect all the choices they made about their names, because I realize that they are still the same person. I think choosing to change or not change your name is a personal decision. There are several:cultural, practical, personal, historical, etc reasons for it. Some people think a name is worth fighting for, others don't. What I do wish is that people could respect all choices equally.
A name is personal- respect it, like you do the person.
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
I love that quote of Shakespeare. I have remembered it since high school, I cannot say that for much else. Yet the world of Romeo and Juliet shows that a name does matter. Their names at the end of the day got them killed. But we call it a tragedy- because we think the feud, and them getting killed were both unnecessary. So then perhaps their names should not matter- for an individual would be that person with or without their name. Right? Honestly, I dont know.
How are you named?( Who came up with your Given Name) What is your last name? ( Does it mean anything?) The answer to all these questions differs greatly depending on where you live. Many of us, most of the time don't even think about how our first and last name came about.It is something we accept. We more than accept, we love and cherish it as a crucial part of our identity. But there is a time that people in some cultures start thinking about their name more, especially women- that is if you answer yes to the question below.
Do you live in a culture where there is a practice of changing names after marriage?
I happen to be born in a culture where women change their last name after marriage,(although note that this is not true for all Indians but rather most) and happen to live in one. I started thinking about it shortly after getting engaged. For multiple reasons I chose to keep my name, something that not many Indian women do. One day while talking about my name with M, he asked me " would you have changed your name if you were in India?" I thought about it and said, " Honestly, I am not sure not changing would have been a choice. I am glad it is" He smiled and said, " I am glad it is too." So my main two reasons for not changing my name is to celebrate that choice I had, and because when I moved here my name became a very important part of cultural identity. I was marrying outside my culture, and it was a way to hold on to a bit more of it. This was a very personal choice.
2013 in the United States, I was really surprised at the negative reactions I got from people (Very few from Indians)- honestly, sometimes it hurt. Someone actually went "oh do you not want to be associated with M?" Really then why would I marry him? Honestly, I dont mind being called Mrs.M either, as long as it is not something you are doing to be a prick. I have had family and friends call me that in good conscious and I am more than happy.
My good friend from college changed her last name to her husband's, a fellow classmate of mine changed his name to his wife's last name, my aunt hyphenated her surname, another friend kept her last name, and a couple I knew both combined their last names. All these are people I respect, and their name choices have nothing to do with it. I can also respect all the choices they made about their names, because I realize that they are still the same person. I think choosing to change or not change your name is a personal decision. There are several:cultural, practical, personal, historical, etc reasons for it. Some people think a name is worth fighting for, others don't. What I do wish is that people could respect all choices equally.
A name is personal- respect it, like you do the person.
